Like many women around the globe, I am always striving to put my best self out there. This often includes my most attractive self. Over the last 2 ½ years, this has boiled down to making sure my hair looked its best. Sure, I still get facials, put on makeup, and worry about if my butt looks too fat in whatever I am wearing (I am continually losing that battle it seems), but I have consistently put more time and effort into my hair since the beginning of my journey to beautiful natural hair.
Recently while taking down my old twists, I was met with this:
So, I felt the first post was as good as any to share my natural hair truths. I will have to face myself and admit some shortcomings in this post (I am not the best at that). However, it will be worth it if I can give a little encouragement to just one person with similar experiences to my own.
Natural Hair Truths #1: It’s been hard adjusting to my “new” normal.
I stopped using relaxers (aka . . . the creamy crack) on my hair about 7 years ago. After my last “perm”, I continued with my same hair regimen – once a week wash/deep condition followed by a blowout & flatiron or a roller set. I did this for 4 ½ years and did not know why my hair was not growing. After all I had stopped perming it, so it should be much healthier and growing like a weed.
Then, a certain scandal occurred with one of the products I was regularly using. So, I decided to educate myself on how to take care of my hair; and, Girl, did I educate myself (my husband often jokes that I have done enough research to have a degree in natural hair care by now). What I did not know at the time was how much effort I was going to have put into caring for my hair to get results.
I am a true 4C girl with no curl pattern (literally my hair just zigzags and coils around itself). My hair breaks easily, is always looking for moisture, and is not trainable. As such, I have a day . . . yes, a full day a week dedicated to maintaining my hair. This is a far cry from the 2-3 hours it used to take me to do my hair on wash day.
When I first started my actual hair journey 2 ½ years ago, it felt like a death sentence every Saturday when I would get started with my pre-shampoo (prepoo) treatment. My regimen kept me from going out of the house, getting any tasks completed if they needed more than about 30 minutes to get done, and limited my weekend snuggle time with my husband. In short, I was ill prepared even though I had done tons of research.
However, I stayed consistent with my hair routine; and it finally became a habit. I learned eventually that I did not have a hair problem; I had a time management problem. My fix has been to rearrange my schedule, saving my TV time for wash day. This means I do more chores, errands, and work on the weekdays. I am far from perfect with schedule, but I no longer feel like wash day is a death sentence because I know I will be getting to enjoy my favorite shows while I am tending to my tresses.
Natural Hair Truths #2: My hair is always going to be thirsty.
Even before I started my hair journey, I noticed my natural hair just would not retain moisture. I constantly applied water-based products only for my hair to feel dry again in a few hours. After my natural hair “education” started, I started using the L-O-C (leave-in/liquid, oil, cream) Method. While this and my protective styling habits have helped, I still find myself misting water & aloe vera juice on my hair sometimes daily with formal moisturizing sessions occurring 2-3 times a week.
I try to drink plenty of water every day. My hair gets drenched in the shower at least 1 other day during the week besides wash day. I have experimented with assorted products and oils. The only time my hair has not shown some sort of dryness during my journey was during my summer vacations when I was co-washing daily to rid my hair of chlorine or salt water from swimming.
So, unless I am going to co-wash every day, which I am NOT, I must live with the fact that my hair is going to be eternally craving water. I will never be a L-O-C and moisturize once a week girl. My lesson learned here was to pay attention to my hair and make changes to my regimen as needed to address my problems.
Natural Hair Truths #3: I can be as impatient as I want, my hair is going to grow at its own pace.
On average, hair grows around a ½ an inch a month. Now, I don’t know about you, but I don’t know anyone who is average. Some naturals will have their hair grow faster than this and some will have slower growth. In addition, your genetics and lifestyle choices will determine your growth rate and maximum hair length.
This is not what I wanted to hear when I started my journey. I admit it . . . I searched for the holy grail of super rapid hair growth. Let me dispel this untruth right now . . . THERE IS NO PILL, POTION, CREAM, OIL, SHAMPOO, OR CONDITIONER THAT IS GOING TO GROW YOUR HAIR 6 INCHES IN A MONTH.
Yes, you can do lots of things to improve your chances to keep more length. You can even work to enhance your hair growth rate and fullness. Know I get a little faster growth when my diet and water consumption is in check. It makes sense . . . my body works better overall when I am taking the best care of it.
So, I learned the lesson of patience with my hair. I can scream for instant hair length gratification until my face turns blue, but I’ll have to continue to just get over myself. In the spirit of full transparency here, I am a work in progress when it comes to patience in general.
Natural Hair Truths #4: I am never going to be able to stray too far from my current protective styling practices.
My hair texture is what it is. I know it’s fragile, but that did not stop me from wearing puffs, afros, faux hawks, and twist outs more than I should have. Those styles can be cute, but they come at a price for me . . . increased dryness, tangles, and breakage.
Before I was natural, I wore my hair out every day. Now my hair is out 1-2 days a week . . . and one of those days is wash day. You also can forget me just falling into bed at night with my hair out. I decided to follow others’ advice for my nighttime hair routine. So, I have never had to experience the tangled hot mess I am sure I would have encountered if I had not listened.
However, my baby sister chose to buy her whit on this topic. Yes, she fell asleep on accident with her newly washed 4b/4c hair out ONE TIME. Let’s just say the purchase was substantial, and she won’t be doing that again.
I still get the occasional “Why don’t you wear your hair out more?” or “You have plenty of hair, why are you wearing a wig?” questions from those who just can’t feel my pain. However, I learned the protective styling lesson the hard way. So, I won’t be straying back to the dark side anytime soon.
Natural Hair Truths #5: I am the expert when it comes to my hair.
Each person’s hair is unique. What I do for hair maintenance may be different from what you do. That is why it is so important for each natural to get to know his/her own hair and what it needs. The information I share in my blog, videos, or social media posts works for me and/or someone in my inner circle of personal friends and family (i.e., I have seen it work with my own eyes). Nevertheless, it may not work for everyone.
You won’t know what works for you until you try it. Remember my reference earlier about the amount of research time I spend on my hair. I do that because I know I am the only expert my hair will ever have. I must continue to educate myself and try new things to address any issues that may pop up.
Don’t let others persuade you into doing things you know will damage your hair. Follow your gut. If you have been trying coconut oil and its not working for you, don’t be afraid to something else. If you want to wear your hair out and you don’t have an issue with dryness and breakage when you do, then feel free to continue. You are the only person who is with your hair 24/7/365! If that does not make you the expert, then I don’t know what does.
So, there you go . . . my hair truths! I would be lying if I said I don’t have my days when I dream of the creamy crack. However, I know my final desired result will never be reached if I do that. I have been down that road already, and I did not like what I found at the road’s end.
Since this is my first post, I would encourage each of you to take a look at my Owner & Author Message. Each natural’s journey is personal, so I wanted to share a little insight into who I am and what I am about. It’s a pretty entertaining read, as well.
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